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  • Writer's pictureAditi Choubey

Sexual Assault and Violence Faced by men

What is Sexual Abuse/Assault?

Sexual Assault or Abuse is when a person be it a girl or a boy or a woman or a man

irrespective of their gender is forced, coerced, or tricked into doing sexual things when

you are don’t want to. It basically covers a wide range of unwanted sexual behavior

that can involve strangers or people who are known. People should know that it is

never the fault of the survivors. Everyone should realize that forcing someone to do

something is wrong and everyone should raise their voice against it.

Myths related to this:

It is believed that physiologically men and women are different and male is our society is considered to be the superior one in this. People should know that a man or a woman can be sexually assaulted, and the offender can also be of any gender and of any sexual orientation. Well, April is sexual assault awareness month sometimes perpetrators, especially adults who sexually abuse boys, will use these physiological responses to maintain secrecy by using a phrase such as “ You know you liked it”. It should be also understood that an erection doesn't mean to invite unwanted sexual activity and ejaculation in no way condones an assault.

Common Reaction:

From the very initial stage of a boy’s life, he is taught not to cry because they are meant to be strong as an individual. But here arises a question that why so? Are they not human beings, then why are they expected to always be the strong one no matter what. If they cry or become vulnerable about anything that they feel they are said and I quote “ Why are you crying, men don’t cry they are the strong one”, “Are you a girl why are you crying, girls cry we boys are strong”. These things make them weaker when they go through assault or any sexual abuse. They start feeling shameful and end up questioning their manhood. Although they want to share they don’t because they think that if they come up and share things people will make fun of them, or they would be judged. If they go to their parents they won’t believe them because of the stereotype thinking that this society still holds on to, that men are strong they don’t need protection, it’s the girls who need to be protected they are weak and vulnerable.

It’s high time that we should know that even the men of our society should be given that liberty to express themselves. Sexual Assault of men is a problem that is widely recognized but poorly understood because our society is well aware of female victims, often male victims of sexual assault are forgotten or neglected due to shame and stigma. Someone can find it surprising that at least 1 to 6 boys are sexually abused before their 18th birthday.

How Do Men React When They Go Through This?

Men who have experienced sexual abuse and assault may have very prominent psychological symptoms anyone psychiatric diagnoses. For Example, Male who go through such heinous things have buckets of seething anger. This never leaves them but comes out especially when they are feeling threatened or betrayed.

They basically start questioning themself and their manhood. They do not trust anyone and start behaving differently, some also indulge themselves in drugs and alcohol. They try to disconnect themselves from all the relations they have, they also behave very rudely with their parents and start disrespecting them because they start believing that no one cares about them and there is no one who understands them. They want to talk but they can’t. It's then when they want someone to hold their hand and say it is alright and whatever happens I am there with you. This relationship they get when they get attracted towards opposite gender and they share everything but then when they go through heartbreak or they get rejected they feel shattered and tend to have suicidal tendencies. Sexual harassment laws hardly contain any recognition of male victims and female perpetrators. Men, expected to take everything in their stride, seldom come forth to report being harassed either. There are increasing instances of men being sexually harassed from being a target of comments heavy with sexual innuendo to being stalked. But because Indian men are supposed to be ‘mards’, they are to take all of this in the spirit intended fun and not feel uncomfortable and complain.

There are many sections that state about women's harassment, women being raped, their modesty, and punishments related to all these things but what about the men of our society when we will scream for their rights and make these laws gender-neutral. People of our country always talk about women's safety and their protection but they should know that safety is needed for all and only for a specific gender. Parents should also teach their boys about good touch and bad touch because both girls as well as boys should know what is good and bad and how to protect themselves. Sections 354, 509, and 376 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) deal with sexual assault outraging modesty, eve-teasing, and rape but they are all for women. While this is a great thing in and of itself, it is rather unfortunate that the only section of the IPC that deals with sexual assault on a man is 377 the infamous section that makes sodomy an offense and is misused to perpetuate sexism and alienate the LGBT community. Nor does it differentiate between consensual and non-consensual sexual acts between two male adults.

Is this how we see our future generation developing ?

Gender-neutral laws are needed in our society because we live in a country where

people cry for equality and we don’t actually apply it in the real life. Therefore it’s

high time to actually behave in a way we can say that we all are equal. Men should be

understood and should be also given equal rights and gender-neutral laws which will

help them to protects their rights and interests. This how we will grow and this is how

we can build a better future to live in for our upcoming generations.

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